I woke early, still with this cough, and immediately needed to drain my nose. I have had this “thing” for 2 weeks now, where mucus has just drained from my chest and nasal cavity. It has made me learn to enjoy tea. I mean, any other day… fuck tea… But today I will side with tea with the intention of having it sort out my throat.

Other than that I feel great. I listened to the Yeah yeah yeah’s new release this morning whilst skating. Something bout that choir wailing on Sacrilege while the wind blew thru my hair seemed to make everything apear that much more
“epic”.

Afterwards I day-dreamed thru breakfast, wondering how deaf people felt about volume knobs. Then wondered how blind people felt about light switches. Then I wondered about people who lost their hands, and how they felt about joysticks and game controllers, then wondered how paraplegics felt about treadmills. Then things really started to get weird, which is when I realized I needed to finish my meal and get out of the house.

I headed to see a client, who had been trying to see me for a number of days. He’s an old man, who greeted me at the door wearing only his shirt with no pants. I began to wonder if he at least had underwear on under his shirt… but I wasn’t about to let it go beyond curious pondering… this is a dude in his 80’s, I’m not interested in investigating.

He has computer problems that he claims prevent him from banging chicks. This little jewish man, sitting around in his underwear (I assume), whining about how he’s just trying to meet women he can bang and can’t figure out why craigslist keeps taking down his posts. I explain that his post has been ghosted, and he just stares at me. I look at his previous posts and noticed a few things.

First being that he says he is 63, he can’t spell and he has standards that seem a bit unrealistic. He has stated that he isn’t interested if you are larger than a size 8, or over 135lbs, and no one over 40. He claims in the ad he is looking for a potential live in lover, however he complains to me that he has done it in the past, and he usually finds the person annoying after roughly 6 weeks. Says it sucks because it’s like you’re married and you have to pay for everything.

I draw up the ad, fix whatever issues he had pertaining to why it wouldn’t post, and run some updates. He talks about the past, and how growing old sucks. He offers me tea and I accept. He tells me he finds tea helpful for when he is hung over.

I ask him if he drinks much, and informs he that he can’t anymore. But back in the day he had it all and saw crazy things. I ask him to tell me, cuz I would like to know. I told him to make me feel Amish. He asks what Amish is, and I tell him to simply wow me.

I begins to talk about the 60’s when he had to studio, and in his studio he had every pill under the sun. Seconals, morphine, tuinals, mandrex, all filled in his refrigerator. Talks about a quack-doctor he had who told him to simply make a list of what he wanted and the doctor would give it to him cheaper than what he would have to pay for it on the streets.

One night he decided not to go home and instead sleep at his studio in Manhattan. Upon crawling in bed he stretched his arms out and felt a body lying next to his. It was dead girl. I asked him how the dead girl got there, and he stated that she was his studio assistant. She apparently had committed suicide by overdosing on one of the bottles of pills he had in the studio. He explained that he had to hide the rest before calling the cops. When fianlly called the cops and told them that there was a dead girl in his bed. They asked him how he knew that she was dead, and he had to elaborate that she was hard and cold, with puss coming out of her eyes, not to forget the piss and shit on the bed. All I could wonder is how fucked up was he that he didn’t smell that before laying down.. He must had been pretty loaded.

Do you have any idea what kind of buzzkill that must have been. I mean I’ve have been in the back seat of a car barreling down the freeway at 70 miles an hour on a head full of acid when the front tired just flew off the axle leaving us to grind into the pavement all the while sparks are flying everywhere and yet I knew that once we finally stopped it was simply an ordeal that only lasted 30-40 seconds. But this… would have just sobered me up so fast: finding a body, think of what to do and having to wait thru the cops coming to your house?… the night is shot.

I sip on the tea as he lays half a C-note on me. We talk about drinking for a few minutes and he tells me that alcohol just creeps up on you… he got caught up in it for 20 years. Says he would hide it in the bathroom so he had a place to drink where nobody would know what he was doing.

I can always smell when someone has been drinking, you can never hide that stench. Who knows… maybe they had better breathe mints in the 60’s.

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