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Last night I had to go to the south side of Williamsburg to fix Janet’s wifi card. Afterwards I went by the Magic Cobra where her boyfriend works to hangs for a few minutes. I was still hungry and thought about going to get some grits from Pies and Thighs when I remembered that right across the street from Magic Cobra was a place call Bistro Petit that served truffle macaroni n cheese.

With truffles, a little goes a long way. I told this to Aziz a few weeks ago when he mentioned not caring for truffles stating “isn’t it more of an acquired taste?”. Well, I guess it depends on your definition of acquired, or more importantly, how we use the word.

It’s a vague term, used liberally and as far as I am concerned, very misleading. According to TLC, coffee, alcohol, blue cheese and olives were all “acquired tastes”. Seriously?… Because I would find it safe to say that the number of people who drink coffee and alcohol easily outnumber the people who don’t. I don’t drink coffee, even though I love the smell of it. I don’t think it’s acquired, because I just think it’s mediocre in the taste category. I’m not disgusted by it, it’s just not my thing.

Then what about chinotto, people in Italy and surrounding areas love this stuff. I had a friend from Geneva over one night, he was drinking chinotto and I was drinking root beer. I told him I couldn’t drink that chinotto for I thought it tasted like cough syrup, and upon hearing this he asked to try some of my root beer. Turns out he was just as disgusted by my root beer as I was by his chinotto. Was root beer and acquired taste?

Then there is ginger, it’s a staple in Jamaican cooking, as well as with sushi. However I cannot not stand it… maybe I have yet to acquire a taste for it, and if thats the case, how will I acquire the taste for it? From eating it over and over again until my palette submits, or until my mind begins to associate it with good memories. I am like that with music; I can listen to Journey not because I think it is good music, but because I have enough positive memories behind it.

Is this all mind over matter, this whole “acquired” business? I didn’t care for “I’m a fool to do your dirty work” until I heard Tony Soprano singing it, then I thought it somewhat menacing in it’s only little way. A Simular situation with octopus: I would have never eaten those tentacles until one day I saw these old Italians happily slurping them up much to other peoples disgust. So then I thought they must be fine, and I would like to disgust people too. Now I just love octopus and Steely Dan… well that one song at least. You can keep “Ricky don’t lose that number”, shit just makes my penis soft.

My ex hated tamales, I should have told her it was an acquired taste, same goes with my future defense for White Castle. Wasn’t the preferred level of spice in our food acquired too, and wait isn’t whether or not one uses salt in their cooking acquired? When does it stop being a preference and start being acquired?

What about Tarzan, while he was fictional, he did eat magots and what not. Are magots acquired or are they a delicacy and when does something go from being an acquired taste to being a delicacy. Ever heard of rocky mountain oysters? They’re bull calf balls, sometimes pig or sheep testicles are used, and they are considered a classic western delicacy. Crickets, snails, sea urchen, octopus, fish eggs, cow balls are all delicacies, and quite possibly acquired tastes all at the same time; They’re sort of like transformers.

With that, sea horse, tiger penis, dried scorpions, horse gallstones, and rat fetus, are neither delicacies nor are they acquired, because they are medicinal. Men in China think eating the penis of a tiger will cure their impotence. Hey I got an idea, why don’t you find someone new to fuck. How much of this is a placebo affect, and how much is in your head? But more importantly, When does food stop being medicinal, and just start being nasty ass shit nobody wants to eat, but will if their motives lie outside the bounds of basic general hunger?

I thought everything we digested affects your health in one way or another. I make red sauce from scratch and could eat this food every week not only because I love the way it tastes but also that I find myself having a positive association with it. Therefore it is medicinal for my mental health. In Addition, I eat vegetarian spinach salads not simply because I think they are good, but also because they are good for flushing out me bowels, once again demonstrating a medicinal use of food. I think all food is medicinal in a myriad of ways.

Lets say that if it isn’t water, it’s quite clearly acquired in one way or another, and it’s always a delicacy to somebody. Have you noticed that whenever they serve food on Fear Factor or Jackass, the word “delicacy” is commonly thrown around.

The next time I meet a vegan, I am going to argue that meat has medicinal value, and is obviously an acquired taste. I will then further elaborate that they seem to possess a rather unrefined palette, but there are certain foods with medicinal properties that they can take to cure that. Then I will take to them to Popeyes stating that while I understand that spicy fried chicken is an acquired taste, in Afghanistan, it’s considered a delicacy.

Truffle Mac’n Chz