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Corn is bullshit as a sweetener and this is what I don’t get…we have cane sugar, why process corn to replace sugar? Is there a a shortage I don’t know about? Whatever entity that owns all this corn, they’ve got be really fucking powerful, and loaded beyond all belief, because they have convinced they U.S. government to subsidize the shit out of their product.

Corn is grits, corn is polenta, corn is tamales, corn on the cob, corn tortilla chips. It’s used to distill whiskey, corn oil, glue, and even used in penicillin. On my block, the Mexicans make Elotes, which is corn on the cob, covered with mayonaise, cheese and paprika. Once again, proof that you don’t have to be white to get your “white trash” on.

But as a sugar replacement, it sucks. If I get a soda it has to have pure cane sugar, and has to be in a glass bottle. The carbonation is another issue. Plastic bottles hold carbonation for only six months while glass holds carbonation for roughly five years. To compensate for this they usually over-carbonate soda in plastic containers. Glass sodas usually taste smoother whilst drinks in plastic usually taste abrasively over-carbonated.

Not to mention the waste generated from plastic. It’s apparently enough to form a giant pile of plastic shit floating around in the Pacific Ocean, because plastic simply refuses to break down. It’s called the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and it is roughly twice the size of Texas. I once saw a news reporter travel to an island that was in the path of the current from which this trash pile traveled. They had just arrived at the island not even a couple of days after a cleanup, and the beach was covered in trash. At one point the reporter noticed the color of the sand was changing due the amount of plastic to which an expert he was with corrected him. It wasn’t colored sand he was holding… it was plastic. The reporter then commented that the beach was in effect turning plastic. The expert just confirmed this.

Just a couple of years ago they confirmed another trash pile found in the Atlantic Ocean. Well of course, where do they think all this plastic goes when they dump it in the ocean? To some wormhole to a parallel universe?

The U.S. as well as Europe exports its trash to China, it’s our number two export to China. One third of our trash is packaging, and a majority of packaging is plastic. Not to mention bottled drinks, hell when you start to add it all up, it shines a light on just how meaningless of a question it is when they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket. Does it matter if I use a paper bag; everything in the paper bag is wrapped in plastic.

I realize I am drifting away from my original point here, but fuck it, I’ve already started, so lets just go hard.

I’m sure in the past month most of you have seen pictures of Mars as taken by the NASA rover, Curiosity. So it’s real, we’re on Mars, but it’s not inhabitable yet because it’s too cold. It’s too cold because the atmosphere is too thin, however scientist have an idea. Terraforming.

While only hypothetical, terraforming is the process of creating an thicker atmosphere by use of greenhouse gasses. Basically the idea is based off of our own “global warming” here on planet Earth. We have trash here that causes our atmosphere to grow, hence making the planet hotter. Why not replicate that on Mars.

So here’s the plan, Get Bill Gates and Richard Branson to scoop up all the trash floating in the ocean, all the nuclear waste dumped off the Ivory Coast and anywhere else they can find, not to mention all the debris from the oil spills off the coast of Nigeria, Gulf of Mexico from Deepwater Horizon, whatever still hasn’t been clean up from the Exxon Valdez, anything else I’ve missed (I’m sure there is plenty) and ship it to Mars. You clean up our planet, is if it isn’t already too late, and make Mars inhabitable all at the same time.

Its a win win, for everyone, and then since we, the good ol U.S. of EH, did it all, we can charge admission to Red Rock son.

Oh yea…and fuck high fructose corn syrup.