If you’re in the know, then you know how them Dominicans roll, and if you can get in with them, even better. There’s lots of fringe benefits that come with hanging with them folks.
First up they all drink at the bodega, and the old timers start drinking round noon. Come 10 or 11 in the evening everyone is hammered and heading home usually without spending more than 10 dollars, cause beers are roughly a buck fifty each.
I guess to the standerd white person, it’s just a bunch of latinos hanging out, but if you’re paying attention you know its a pretty mixed crowd here. You got Dominican’s who greet you with “que lo que”, constantly injecting the conversation with references to their platanos. Or Mexicans who great you with “que ondo”, who tend to love to roll around in their own filth once properly inebriated. The Puerto Ricans of course greet you with “what up my nigga”, they occasionally yell “Wepa” for no reason what-so-ever, and usually talk shit about how Dominicans don’t wear socks. And finally there’s the “coolies“, talking bout cricket whilst hurling terms of endearment such as “skunt”.
So thats where I get my drink on, but wait, there’s more! The amenities keep coming. This is also the place to go when you are sick, but don’t want to go to the doctor. I mean seriously, hospitals suck, I can’t afford anything beyond the emergency room, and who the fuck wants to wait 8 hours in that fucking zoo just to see a doctor who will at best give you a prescription for anti-biotics, but will more than likely just tell you to go walk it out.
Dominicans don’t go to the hospital for anti-biotics in their country, so why would they do it in ours. You head to the bodega, you ask the dude if he has any anti-biotics, he reaches into one box and pulls out another box of Amoxicilina or what-have-you. Five bucks got me 6 pills, and then he tells you “take one every six hours”. Right the on, the doctor is in.; He’s switched roles so fast, going from shop keeper to Dr Francisco, its jiu jitsu really.
And if that weren’t enough, they even have a hangover remedy. Ask for it by name, its called Rapidita, which everyone swears is the best thing to get your ass in gear 1st thing in the morning. However I refuse to take the stuff after having read the ingredients on the back. A little caféine, a little something else, but the main ingredient…was acetaminophen. Ugh!!!
Acetaminophen is the reason I hate Vicodens; and as a connoisseur of pain killers, I know that the best thing for a hangover… is a beer.