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Dear Ice cream truck… FUCK YOU!!!

I hate ice cream trucks, the soft serve just disgusts me, and there are easily 5 parked on Knickerbocker at any given time. Worse yet there is a johnny pump right outside my window. Thats where the ice cream man parks on my block. Right in front of the pump, right outside my window, and they just sit there for a good twenty minutes, playing that mind-numbing dog-shit music.

But then I heard about these two guaps selling Oxycontin out of there Lickity Split in Staten Island….if only I knew? Then I could have had two reason to go to Staten Island; Pizza and pain killers.

Ya don’t eat all day, you take the ferry into Staten Island. Find yourself a Lickity Split and order “dessert” because life is never certain. You dose yourself, head down to Denino’s, order a clam pizza, maybe get a side of scungilli… and somehow you figure out a way to float back to Brooklyn.

Good times.