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Dangerously close to my house

I had a friend visit from England recently…in fact fuck it, what am I saying? Almost all of my foreign friends who try Popeyes love it. I mean they always wonder why there isn’t more of a presence abroad. They all say Popeyes would make a killing.

I can read and write Arabic and once saw a Popeyes sign written in Arabic. The Arabic language has no “P”, and only 3 vowels, so when looking at the sign, it actually translated to “BouBais“. Kinda made me feel all warm and fuzzy… and hungry for a two piece.

I debate myself on fast food. I debate my friends too, and even get rather condescending bout it.

Lets be honest how can you trust…”Tha Colonel” over Popeye? Seriously; Fucking Colonel Sanders looks Chinese, yet he’s from Kentucky? I guess the original recipe was ok, but everything beyond that is just straight hogshit. But Popeyes, you got that spicy chicken, red beans and rice. Or if you’re like me you ask for dirty rice instead of the white rice. And those biscuits???

I once worked for Mandola family back when I still lived Houston. There were three brothers in the Mandola family, and each had their own restaurant. Damian had “Damians”, Tony had the “Tony’s seafood house, and Vincent had “Nino’s” and right next door, he opened “Vincents”. Vicent ran the place with his wife Mary Anne and their two daughters: Mary Anne and Vince-anne  (I Promise I am not making this up).

Anywho. These restaurants were fine dinning, The family was loaded and beyond the $40,000 anual family reunions in Italy, they were huge on detail. Man I tell you the garlic mashed potatoes were like silk. The rotisserie chicken made me wanna convert to Catholicism, and the entrees. He had a dish called the Veal Amedeo. This was a 14oz veal chop stuffed with fontina cheese and topped off with creamy crabmeat sauce. I’m just trying to say that this was a hoity toity place.

So you can imagine how mental it looked when I walked in one day and saw everyone along with Vincent eating Popeyes. I thought I was the only one, but here I was looking right at Vincent who just looked up at me and said “love the biscuits”. They are good, they’re fucking slammin.

So obviously I’m not above fast food, I just like to believe I have standards. Like Fuck the Colonel, fuck Ronald, and fuck the King. Along with Churches, Carls jr, and even In and Out burger. If I want a burger, I’ve got White Castle. Yea yea, say what you like, but a double with cheese just does it every time.

Oh yea, fuck Subway…I hate the smell that emits from that place.

So while I preach against fast food, pride myself at not eating it with any regularity and cooking at home, I obviously have some weak spots.

But obviously, I’m not the only one.

He loves that chicken